Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
