no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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