Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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