i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
