i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
