Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
