the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
