My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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