just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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