my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
