I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
