You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
His hands were made for my vagina.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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