She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
