Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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