your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
