just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
