so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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