just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize