I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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