The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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