No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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