Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
