We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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