I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize