I skipped work to stalk him.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
