This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
