I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
