If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize