My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
