Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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