Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
accomplished twins. life is a go
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
