i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
