he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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