new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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