Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
