I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
