I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
