why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
