How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
