so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
