I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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