Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
