hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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