I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
