i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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