Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize