What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
