then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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