i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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