its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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