I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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