I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
BRING THE BAGELS
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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