I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
