I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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