This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Someone signed my nipple.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
