Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
