I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize