Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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